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Articles

What Jeff Does

Jeff MinerWhat Jeff Does…

Many times during the course of being out in public, I am asked, “What is it that you do, exactly… in that room?” It can be a question of innocence or perhaps what I do with clients seems a bit like magic to those who do not have some experience in working with a coach or counselor. But at the end of the day, what I like to think I do, exactly is help others find:

Confidence:
I help the individual drill down to the reason confidence is lacking, then hold him/her accountable to a routine that boosts confidence. This is different for each person but might include accountability, afformations, self talk, practice and personal view of healthy competition. I provide a safe place for each client to discover the root reason confidence is lacking, then rebuild through a variety of methods tailored to each individual (examples might include afformations, self-talk and practice).

Focus: I use techniques that professional athletes use to Get Into the Zone” to help you compete what you start.
By working through a series of exercises, Jeff helps each client define their true purpose in life, and from purpose flows focus. Much like athletes put on blinders to “Get Into the Zone” when competing, I teache clients how to quiet the distractions and allow focus to take over.

Accountability:
There is a difference between encouragement and accountability, and I know that difference. Accountability requires fierce conversations, tough love and true honesty. I respect my clients enough to take off the kid gloves and hold them accountable to their words. Unlike many ‘life coaches’ I am a licensed therapist. Sometimes there are true issues that hold us back— and I can help you identify those issues and push past them to true success.

Reduced stress:
Perspective and balance are qualities I strive for in my own life and I impart to each client. Knowing that life is not only work, I focus on the whole person. Integrating each part of life and making them work together is a start to reducing stress and leading a full life.

I truely enjoy helping others, and my talent and the gifts that I have been given allow me a great deal of enjoyment on a daily basis.

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Traits of a Well Coached Organization, Part 2

Hope everyone had a fantastic holiday and you have made some great resolutions for the New Year. This is part 2 of my research into cultures that set companies apart from each other. Traits of a Well Coached Organization – part 2

*Teams are motivated and you don’t have to coach effort
As an administrator, educator or manager is imperative that time is used wisely. When your team is ready and eager to learn, the success rate improves and you don’t waste time. Coaching improvement always comes easier when the student believes the old Confucius saying. “When the pupil is ready, the teacher appears.”

*Teams have genuine enthusiasm
When people know what is expected of them it is much easier for them to be enthusiastic and passionate about their responsibilities. An organizational leader’s vision helps encourage this enthusiasm. It is stated in the bible, “without a vision, people perish.” Specific standards help the team take this one step further. A team with a vision is more disciplined, determined and tends to be self starters. As Ralph Waldo Emerson so aptly stated, “nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.”
Two companies that fit this model are PPR Healthcare Staffing and Southwest Airlines. PPR was voted as one of the best small companies to work for in the Southeast. The achievement was made possible by CEO Dwight Cooper who believes that his job is to set the environment. Whether it is a fitness boot camp, yoga or thank you Thursdays all the employees know that they are part of a family.
Family is one way to name the working relationships fostered by Southwest Airlines. The former CEO Herb Kelleher set the tone by treating each employee as if they were his kin. His attitude and irreverence for protocol permeated the entire company. Every time I fly with Southwest I always ask the employees if it is a great place to work and I have never received even the slightest hesitation followed by a hearty affirmation.

*Players have positive body language
Walk into any classroom or meeting and you can tell immediately who is listening and who is not. Facial expressions and posture can be a clear indicator. Venture into a movie theater or the classroom of an expert teacher and you will see the audience’s eyes riveted and their bodies up at attention. The same is true for a meeting that is purposeful and conducted by an inspirational leader.

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Change

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If you are not yet familiar with Vitruvians… hear it now!

Using the model of Leonardo da Vinci, man is made up of several aspects of his life. Each week, over a lunch and learn, we explore these aspects, from personal to professional. Each week you know it will be great insight, brought to you by an expert in that field! Join us!

As our way of showing you a little love… we will offer you one (1) seat to a future Vitruvian lunch & learn… AT NO CHARGE! Just bring a little bite for yourself, and absorb the wisdom shared. To learn what we will be talking about go to: www.NothingByChanceCoaching.com/calendar/
We promise the experience will be like you have your own little… renaissance!

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Improving Results Through Better Time Management

Your success as an effective business owner or executive, or a team leader and coach requires a wide range of skills, but one of the most important is how you manage your time. The effectiveness of the activities in each hour of the day – not the number of hours you work – determines the results you and your work group accomplish.

Maximizing Time Use

Becoming more aware of the need for more effective time management is the first step toward maximizing time use. Develop creative ideas that fit your own situation.
These basic strategies can benefit everyone:

• Control accessibility to you. When you have high priority projects to work on, close your office door to discourage interruptions. The “open door” concept means only that people should be able to get your help – to “open your door” – when necessary. But an office door standing open invites people to stop and chat for a moment. If it is closed, they assume you are busy and think no more about it. If you work in an open area environment, a closed door is not possible. Find a system that works in your situation to set boundaries yet provide reasonable accessibility. An additional technique is to simply tell people the times you prefer to be available to them and the times you would like to work uninterrupted.

• Make “appointments” with yourself to work on projects. Block off appropriate time periods on your calendar and consider them “appointments” to work on high priority tasks and projects. Protect this time just as you would an appointment with an important client. Callers may be told that you are not available but will return their calls after a certain time.

• Control interruptions caused by telephone, e-mail, and fax. If you have a receptionist or assistant who answers your telephone, ask this person to hold your calls and give your messages to you all at one time. Reserve a particular time during the morning and again during the afternoon to return all telephone calls. If you have a person to answer your telephone, teach this individual how to recognize important calls that should be put through immediately and how to handle other callers politely and still protect your time. If you answer your own line, do not let it control you. Allow your voice mail or answering machine to pick up if you are in the middle of focused work. You can return the calls when you come to a more convenient stopping point. Using e-mail or faxes may also minimize time spent on the telephone. Avoid the temptation to respond to e-mail, faxes, or voice mail as soon as you know about them. Your telephone, faxes, and e-mail are tools to help you reach your business goals; use them to your advantage.

• Keep the time required for meetings to a minimum. Consider using a meeting planner for the best use of time spent in meetings. For each meeting, send out information on the agenda ahead of time so people will come prepared. Invite only those who actually need to be present to achieve the purpose of the meeting. Send others a copy of the minutes or a memo and do not waste their time by asking them to attend. Start meetings on time, and stop them on time. If more time is needed on important issues, set a date for another meeting. Ignore late arrivals as much as possible, and keep the meeting progressing. When attending meetings run by others, be sure to know the agenda in advance so you are prepared to contribute appropriately.

• Focus conversations on actions and results. While friendliness is important, there is wisdom in keeping conversations short. Focus on actions, not on philosophizing and socializing for long periods of time. Self-control in conversations prevents counterproductive excuse making, self-pity, gossip, “paralysis of analysis,” or criticism. There is power in being brief.

• Cut out unnecessary paperwork and e-mail. Make memos, letters, and e-mail concise, to the point, and clear. Use written methods of communication only when a written record is needed or whenever you consider them the most effective method to communicate in a particular situation. Handle paper flow efficiently. Set a goal to handle each piece of paper only once. If you have an assistant, dictate or write an answer, attach a note on how to handle it, send it to the file, or read and discard it. Place items that relate to specific projects, meetings, or later events in an appropriate follow-up file so they will be at hand when needed.

• Learn and use the principles of behavior modification:
o Identify a behavior you want to adopt.
o Make a personal commitment to develop it.
o Plan small actions to practice using the new behavior.
o Choose ways to reward your success.
o Check progress regularly and make any necessary adjustments.

Improved time management offers one of the quickest, easiest, and most effective strategies for improving productivity and increasing results.

© 2007 Leadership Management, Inc. All rights reserved. Reprinted with permission from LMI Journal 5/07

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Bravery & Your Own Path

 

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In with the old, out with the new…..

The more I work with adults the more I learn that each and every one of us, at some point in our lives, has been the exact person that we are currently striving to be. Think about how life’s lessons have taught us to respond to the world—much differently than you responded as a child, no?

As a three year old you had NO fears; life was exciting, you knew exactly what you wanted and you went for it. You didn’t worry about what people thought of you or how fat/thin/short/tall you were. You were happy with you and with life.

Part of that happiness came from the ability to have a crystal-clear focus on what was going to make you happy right at that moment. It might have been something as simple as peanut butter crackers or it may have been comfort from grandma’s hug; regardless of the object of your focus, you honed in on exactly what you wanted and (probably) didn’t stop until you got it. There was no fear of rejection—even though you’d been rejected or told ‘no’ before you simply let it roll off your back and kept going; there were no feelings of inadequacy—have you ever known a three year old to question whether or not they deserve their mother’s undivided attention?

As we grow up, and our focus starts to splinter off into various directions (family, school, friends, faith, the pursuit of love, work, etc), we necessarily lose that laser-like focus and allow ourselves to start counting the parts of our life rather than the whole of life. Think about that—if your work life is going gangbusters and you’re as successful as you’d ever dreamed, but your home life has crumbled from lack of attention, how happy is your life? Can you feel true happiness as an adult if the various parts of your life are not in harmony?

In addition to focus, children tend to be happy because they simply can’t fathom another reality; they haven’t yet learned how to be disappointed, unhappy, surly or embarrassed. Their reality is truly their reality—not the reality of what others may or may not think. Only as we grow up (i.e., observe and internalize the reactions of others, take on ‘grown-up’ responsibilities of reporting to a boss/spouse/counselor, etc) do we begin to see our lives as something other than happy. But does the core really ever go away? If, as adults, we could strip away the layers of ‘should’, ‘I can’t’, ‘I’m afraid’, ‘I’m embarrassed’; could we get back to that core of when just being ourselves was enough to be happy? Surely it doesn’t go away; it simply disappears under this pile of ‘stuff’ that we affectionately refer to as life.

Big question time: how, exactly, do we strip that away yet continue to function as adults? After all, we can’t quit our jobs, stop paying our mortgages, or just play on the slide ALL day, can we? While ‘outside reality’ may play a huge role in our everyday lives, there are actions we can take to connect with our core child.

• Breathe. Not just the in and out that keeps us going, but the deep, nourishing breaths that calm and rejuvenate. Proper deep breathing also reduces stress, clears the mind and allows us to focus.

• Meditate. Studies have shown that practicing meditation not only has great effects on happiness and positive feelings, but also helps relax us, releases pent up stress, and makes us feel more at peace.

• Journal. Recording your thoughts and feelings can be reassuring and can help you refocus on what you really do think and feel. Even though the words may never be read by anyone other than you, the mere act of writing it all down on paper is a cathartic experience that clears the head and opens the heart to allow more of whatever you need at that particular place and time to enter. Try stream of consciousness writing—not worrying about proper spelling, grammar or punctuation, just write whatever comes into your mind at the moment and continue those thoughts for about twenty minutes. You might start off talking about the delicious dinner you had or that you are annoyed with your son’s Algebra grade, but before you know it you’ll be writing about things that are meaningful and important to YOU.

• Have fun. Whatever form that takes for you—an afternoon trip to the park for a quick push on the swings, ice cream for dinner or a video game marathon on a Saturday morning. Enjoying an activity for the pure pleasure of it—with no investment in the outcome—allows you to really feel and enjoy the moment.

If you’ve noticed, each and every one of these suggestions has one thing in common; they are simply ways for you to concentrate on yourself. Taking the time to figure out what makes you happy and then acting on those thoughts and feelings takes the courage to forget—if even for a moment—what everyone else wants and take care of you.

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Referral Partner Gathering

Our next Referral Partner gathering will be Wednesday, December 21st, at 4:00. If you are an existing Referral Partner, please RSVP to the NBCC offices at (816) 237-1820.

If you wish to become a Referral Partner, or just want to learn more about the program, send your contact information to Partner@NothingByChanceCoaching.com and we will get in touch with you with all the details!

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To Praise or Not to Praise?

To give someone encouraging words, can only be a good thing, right? How can telling anyone, “That was great!”, be a bad thing?  Recently we have found that the way we encourage those around us, especially our children, can have an effect that we never would of imagined.

Most of us grew up hearing or longing to hear, “Good job!”, “That was great!”, or even “Perfect!”.  Now we are learning that those of us that were raised with those seeming to be encouraging words are not so encouraging but rather rating. You might be thinking, “What? How can those phrases be anything but beneficial?”.  But the fact is, that those words and phrases, set those who are hearing them up to do the activity they are doing for someone else, rather than them self; hence the “People Pleaser”.  An appropriate example of this is when my daughter went to kindergarten and came home with “Good Job!” on her paper.  Thinking she would be pleased with such praising words, she was actually disappointed and longed for the day that her teacher would write, “Great Job”.  This led me to wonder, after she sees the “Great Job!”, “Then what?”.  It was then I realized that we had raised a “People Pleaser”, which makes sense with my husband and I both being People Pleasers ourselves.  So after researching the difference between “Praise” and “Encouragement”, I came to the awakening of empowering phrases from Dr. Becky Baily that would assist my daughter in doing things for herself, rather than constantly trying to please others and looking for those words of praise.  It took a long time to actually take the rating praise out of our hourly communication with our daughter, but with lots of practice and signs around the house, we are using more empowering phrases such as, “Way to go!”, “You did it!” and “Alright!”.  Now we are seeing her more confident and believing in herself in most areas of her life.  Of course parenting is a constant work in progress, but it is something that we get to observe the fruits of our labor every day!  (From the book:  Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline By Dr. Becky Baily)

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Bones

For 25 years I chased the dream of cutting down the nets and hoisting the championship trophy above my head. I grew up during a time when Wide World of Sports was must see tv on each weekend. Watching the opening credits in which they play the “thrill of victory” and “the agony of defeat” roll across my television screen I fantasized about becoming the character who would be featured in the “thrill of victory shot.” Afterall, “the agony of defeat shot” was a fellow Croation who unfortunately fell off the ski jump platform. I thought a shot of me could help balance the scales.

The lessons I learned while on this journey have molded me and maybe able to help you as well. As I tell kids all the time, “it’s okay to have your head in the clouds as long as your feet are firmly planted on the ground and headed in the right direction. I would like to share some of these lessons with you.

Each day you send your child to school or you head to work with a backpack full of all the essentials needed to learn, improve and get the job done. I am certain it contains books, papers, pens, calculators, etc… What I wonder about is whether your backpack contains the three most important pieces to success. The three pieces I am talking about are your “Wishbone,” “Backbone” and “Funnybone.” It is important to have all three. This will be the first of a three part series……

First let’s talk about the Wishbone. Without a properly developed wishbone you will never be able to reach your potential. You must have a dream. Those who don’t will perish. I know that sounds intense, but try living a purposeful life without a sense of hope and the ability to dream.

Everyday from the time I was an 8th grader I have dreamt about becoming a head basketball coach at the Division I level. I mean I really visualized it happening. I used to get so excited that the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. That’s how you have to approach your dream before you turn it into a goal. You have to taste it, touch it and feel it in your soul.

That’s why each year I would begin our first practice by having the players sit on the floor with their eyes closed. I wanted them to visualize themselves playing a key role in winning championship. Not an easy thing to do when you are at schools that have never done that. We would talk about creating our own tradition. Then I would put on an audio tape that my play by play guy had created. We started this at St. Francis with Todd Ant doing it and then continued it with Danny Clinkscale doing the same when I was at UMKC. Todd was also kind enough to do the tapes when I was at North Florida and Millersville.

The tape took the players through the final minutes of the championship game. The game winner took different forms depending on the year. One year it might be a defensive stop and another it would be a last second shot. As the final horn went off you could hear the crowd scream and the excitement filled the gym. As the band played you could cut the emotion with a knife. Then we would march down to one end of the floor and cut down the nets to signify the victory.

When you take this type of visualization into the rest of your life I can tell you magic will happen. The truth is you become what you think about the majority of the time. Or saying it another way, is that you don’t always get what you want, but you get what you expect. Oh, and by the way we did the same thing at the end of the year, but we added a video of each player performing to his potential in the areas we needed most. This sent everybody into the tourney with a huge jolt of confidence.

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